Not sure what made me decide to write a new post after all this time and at a ridiculous hour!
I guess it is because I am feeling quite fed up at the moment and feel it may help to write my feelings down Incase it relates to other people on here.
After my bone marrow transplant I thought I would be free of pain and anxiety but sadly that has not been the case. People tell me how lucky I am to be alive which is very true but that doesn't mean I cannot be pissed off if I am feel unwell.
I have done lots of amazing things over the last 4 years and met lots of new amazing people, which I am so happy about. Especially my little dog Dolly who has been a part of my life since 2014. I cannot have children due to the radiotherapy I had to kill the leukaemia. However Dolly is my fur baby and helps me through the days that I struggle with the fact I will never have another life grow inside of me. As well as having to deal with that on a daily basis i am in pain all over my body and have had various scans which do not explain why it is I am in agony. My gp thinks it is fibromyalgia and after reading lots of articles and spelling to other people who have been diagnosed with it I am 99% I have it too. I have an appointment coming up soon for the pain clinic so will hopefully get some answers then. In the meantime I will try a few alternative treatments such as massage and acupuncture to try relieve some of the pain and hopefully relax me so I can sleep before 4 in the morning!
Well I will try and get some sleep now and have cuddles with Dolly to try and ease my fear of sleep as I have been suffering with night terrors this week I think due to all the medication.
Good night/ good morning ☺️
